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Clever Eats & Tasty Treats

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The most kawaii cookies you’ll make this holiday season

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

"Back the fuck up", you are saying (and you should watch your language),"What, exactly, makes these cookies so damn kawaii? Are we speaking ironically kawaii or what’s going on? Answer me, you hipster."

I assume that’s what you’re saying anyway, because I have lost touch with reality for the most part.

Anyway, I think these particular cookies are pretty darn kawaii because they REEK of HONEY. Seriously. Your entire block will smell like an apiary, without the horrible droning and the whole issue with stings and allergies. …..and Honey is pretty darn kawaii, in my book. 

Seriously though, these cookies are perfect if gingerbread isn’t quite your thing. It’s NEARLY gingerbread…. it’s like gingerbread’s little sister, who one day hopes to grow up to be a spicy minx like it’s older brother (…what?). It’s got hints of the spice, and a touch of molasses, but the star of the show is definitely honey. And they’re pretty darn easy to put together, as far as cut-out cookies go. Listen up.

  •  In a large-ish bowl, sift together 3 cups of flour, 1/2 teaspoon baking soda, 2 teaspoons ground ginger, 2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg, and half a teaspoon of salt and go crazy and crack some fresh black pepper in there. Seriously, sift. Don’t just dump all this shit into a bowl and stir it a couple of times with a spoon. I don’t have a fancy ass flour sifter like my gramma, so I suck it up and sift everything through a mesh strainer. The resulting pile will look and feel beautiful. You will want to rest your head in it and take a nap. But don’t, because that’s gross and you’ll make a mess.
  • Set your beautiful flour pile aside for now, lazy.
  • Have a stick of butter ready at room temperature. It will make your life a lot easier if it’s soft, is all. Using a large bowl and an electric mixer on high speed, beat the butter with 1/2 cup of sugar until it’s fluffy and a lovely pale yellow shade. This’ll take like, a minute or something. JUST BE PATIENT, IT WILL HAPPEN.
  • Now crack a large egg in there with the butter and sugar, and beat well for another minute.
  • Slow that shit down and add 1/4 cup of unsulfured molasses and 1/2 cup honey. PRO-TIP: Spray your measuring cup with non-stick baking spray stuff and then pour the sticky stuff like molasses or honey into it. That way it will just pour right out again after it’s measured. Use a rubber spatula to get out any remnants because in case no one told you, honey is liquid gold and don’t you dare waste any of it.
  • Also add 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract at this point. If I find out you’re using imitation vanilla which is made from TAR, I will come to your house and slap your face.
  • Once all that’s combined, SLOWLY add the beautifully fluffy flour mixture in SMALL batches. Take your time with this. If you go crazy and just dump it all in there at once while the mixer is running, your kitchen will be covered with flour and your cookies will be horrible and everyone you live with will be really pissed off at you

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» time 9 months ago   » notes 1520
areyoutryingtodeduceme:

LATE NIGHT CLASSY SNACK TIME FEATURING:
GRILLED CHEESE AND BEER SANDWICH
“WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH, DID SHE SAY BEER?”
Stop screaming, yes I did. Beer is the theme of my blog today, and my followers gave me a BUNCH of great beer recs earlier
HAHAHAHA THOUGH BECAUSE I DIDN’T LISTEN TO ANY OF THEM FOR THIS RECIPE I USED SAM ADAMS BOSTON LAGER
Which is actually a fine beer, but was probably the only non-craft, non-micro-brewed, not made with tears by monks type of beer we had because we’re fuckin’ hipsters. So it’s being used for cooking. 
DEAL WITH IT, MR. ADAMS.
ANYWAY, YES, WE ARE GOING TO MARRY THE SUBTLE TASTE OF BEER WITH A REALLY AMAZING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH. FFFFFFF.
This is probably going to get weird
and a little messy
(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID, AMIRITE??)
ANYWAY you want to make a sort of paste-like goo thing using the following: a couple tablespoons of cream cheese, a good squirt of dijon, and a splash of beer. Do a couple of grinds of white pepper in there too, because pepper is pretty great.
OH WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO QUIBBLE WITH ME ABOUT MEASUREMENTS NOW? WE’VE GONE TOO FAR FOR THAT. JUST DON’T MAKE IT TOO RUNNY.
It’s hard to mix together. Sorry. I told you it would get messy.
If you’re a drunk spaz like me, you were probably a little generous with the beer and now you’re screaming “THIS IS DISGUSTING LOOKING PUKE SOUP, WHAT HAPPENED.”
Calm down. Sometimes food looks yucky before it’s cooked. Have you ever cooked a turkey with like, the giblets and everything still hanging around? I could tell you stories, son. Our job is to turn that crap into something you want to put in your face. ANYWAY. 
Throw in a couple spoonfuls of cornstarch and stir it up and it should thicken a bit. If it’s still runny, add some shredded cheese until it gets….less…. soup like. 
This is a terrible recipe why do you listen to me.
ANYWAY BREAD TIME. Let me strongly recommend Pepperidge Farm’s Oatmeal bread as it is thick and delicious and good for you or something (Pepperidge Farm, I am open to endorsement deals, just email me). I tried to make this sandwich for my sister last week but my gramma just had crappy thin bread and EVERYTHING FELL TO PIECES. 
USE. THICK. BREAD.
Butter the bread. Butter the HELL out of the bread. BOTH SIDES. OF BOTH. SLICES. BUTTER. ALL THE BUTTER. THIS IS A BEER SANDWICH, REGRET NOTHING. QUESTION NOTHING.
Spread your beer/mustard paste or your weird beer/mustard/cheese goop onto one slice of bread. Don’t overwhelm it with goop. You might not use all of it. There’s more to come.
Pile some shredded cheese on top of the goop. Use cheddar jack or regular cheddar or like $8 worth of Jarlsberg 
(that was a subtle Devil Wears Prada joke, because we’re classy here)
Use sliced cheese if you MUST, but shredded cheese just melts a lot more evenly. And beautifully.
WE ARE NOT DONE WITH THE CHEESE YET.
Sandwich the bread together and then SMOOSH A LITTLE MORE CHEESE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE SANDWICH. It should stick thanks to the butter. You don’t want to go CRAZY, but man, even just a little bit on the outside of the sandwich will crisp up and give you the most amazing crust ever when you grill your sandwich.
NOW FRY THAT SANDWICH UP. It will taste a million times better if you use a Captain America spatula. It’s been scientifically proven by Howard Stark.
Or use a fancy sandwich press or something Mr. Moneybags.
THAT’S IT
THE END.
GO EAT SANDWICH GOOD.
high resolution »

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

LATE NIGHT CLASSY SNACK TIME FEATURING:

GRILLED CHEESE AND BEER SANDWICH

  • “WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH, DID SHE SAY BEER?”
  • Stop screaming, yes I did. Beer is the theme of my blog today, and my followers gave me a BUNCH of great beer recs earlier
  • HAHAHAHA THOUGH BECAUSE I DIDN’T LISTEN TO ANY OF THEM FOR THIS RECIPE I USED SAM ADAMS BOSTON LAGER
  • Which is actually a fine beer, but was probably the only non-craft, non-micro-brewed, not made with tears by monks type of beer we had because we’re fuckin’ hipsters. So it’s being used for cooking. 
  • DEAL WITH IT, MR. ADAMS.
  • ANYWAY, YES, WE ARE GOING TO MARRY THE SUBTLE TASTE OF BEER WITH A REALLY AMAZING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH. FFFFFFF.
  • This is probably going to get weird
  • and a little messy
  • (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID, AMIRITE??)
  • ANYWAY you want to make a sort of paste-like goo thing using the following: a couple tablespoons of cream cheese, a good squirt of dijon, and a splash of beer. Do a couple of grinds of white pepper in there too, because pepper is pretty great.
  • OH WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO QUIBBLE WITH ME ABOUT MEASUREMENTS NOW? WE’VE GONE TOO FAR FOR THAT. JUST DON’T MAKE IT TOO RUNNY.
  • It’s hard to mix together. Sorry. I told you it would get messy.
  • If you’re a drunk spaz like me, you were probably a little generous with the beer and now you’re screaming “THIS IS DISGUSTING LOOKING PUKE SOUP, WHAT HAPPENED.”
  • Calm down. Sometimes food looks yucky before it’s cooked. Have you ever cooked a turkey with like, the giblets and everything still hanging around? I could tell you stories, son. Our job is to turn that crap into something you want to put in your face. ANYWAY. 
  • Throw in a couple spoonfuls of cornstarch and stir it up and it should thicken a bit. If it’s still runny, add some shredded cheese until it gets….less…. soup like. 
  • This is a terrible recipe why do you listen to me.
  • ANYWAY BREAD TIME. Let me strongly recommend Pepperidge Farm’s Oatmeal bread as it is thick and delicious and good for you or something (Pepperidge Farm, I am open to endorsement deals, just email me). I tried to make this sandwich for my sister last week but my gramma just had crappy thin bread and EVERYTHING FELL TO PIECES. 
  • USE. THICK. BREAD.
  • Butter the bread. Butter the HELL out of the bread. BOTH SIDES. OF BOTH. SLICES. BUTTER. ALL THE BUTTER. THIS IS A BEER SANDWICH, REGRET NOTHING. QUESTION NOTHING.
  • Spread your beer/mustard paste or your weird beer/mustard/cheese goop onto one slice of bread. Don’t overwhelm it with goop. You might not use all of it. There’s more to come.
  • Pile some shredded cheese on top of the goop. Use cheddar jack or regular cheddar or like $8 worth of Jarlsberg 
  • (that was a subtle Devil Wears Prada joke, because we’re classy here)
  • Use sliced cheese if you MUST, but shredded cheese just melts a lot more evenly. And beautifully.
  • WE ARE NOT DONE WITH THE CHEESE YET.
  • Sandwich the bread together and then SMOOSH A LITTLE MORE CHEESE TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE SANDWICH. It should stick thanks to the butter. You don’t want to go CRAZY, but man, even just a little bit on the outside of the sandwich will crisp up and give you the most amazing crust ever when you grill your sandwich.
  • NOW FRY THAT SANDWICH UP. It will taste a million times better if you use a Captain America spatula. It’s been scientifically proven by Howard Stark.
  • Or use a fancy sandwich press or something Mr. Moneybags.
  • THAT’S IT
  • THE END.
  • GO EAT SANDWICH GOOD.
» time 2 years ago   » notes 261
areyoutryingtodeduceme:

Heeeeere’s the recipe I used, adapted from Annie Rigg’s Macaron book, which is awesome and you can get it at Anthropology and probably amazon.
TARDIS MACARONS WITH LEMON BUTTERCREAM
Ingredients (weigh everything, have it all sitting there, ready and within reach) 200 g/ 1 1/2 cups icing/confectioners’ sugar 100 g/ 2/3 cup ground almonds (I used Red Mill almond meal/flour) 120-125 g/ 1/2 cup egg whites (about 3 large eggs) a pinch of salt 40 g/ 3 tablespons caster/superfine sugar* For the Tardis flavor, I smashed up about 4 tablespoons of the loose leaf tea as well as I could. I should have smashed it up finer though. If you have a food processor, use that. I don’t, so I used a small bowl and a heavy metal ice cream scoop :T
Equipment Food processor (I don’t have one, so I did small batches in my blender and still nearly burned out the motor because it’s a terrible blender) Hand mixer with whisk attachment (I have neither of these things. I have my room mates old school mixer with old school beaters, so I used that, WHATEVER) Large metal spoon, spatulas Piping bag and 1-cm/ half-inch nozzle/tip 2 solid baking sheets lined with non-stick baking parchment paper A damp towel (this is for you - it can get messy/sticky.)
Let’s make these things already
   1.    In your food processor (blender), blend the almond meal with the confectioners’ sugar and tea till thoroughly combined (about 30 seconds) and set aside.    2.    In a clean, dry mixing bowl whisk the egg whites and salt with the hand mixer. Whisk till the foam holds a stiff peak.    3.    Turn the speed down to medium and start adding the caster sugar one teaspoon at a time. Mix well between each addition to properly incorporate sugar. Mixture should become thick, white and glossy.    4.    Now’s when you will add the food coloring. Gel/Paste coloring is best, use a toothpick or one of those larger satay sticks and dip into the gel and stir into the egg white mixture and mix evenly, being sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula. You’ll need quite a bit to get anywhere near TARDIS blue. I feel like I used a lot and I still got just a bright blue. I probably need better food coloring though.    5.    Fold the almond/sugar mixture into the egg white mixture with the large metal spoon. Fold till the mixture is smooth (about a minute or less). The end result should drop from the spoon in a “smooth molten mass.”    6.    Pour into piping bag and pipe onto parchment paper. Laugh/Cry when you get macaron mix all over the outside of the bag and all over your hands because you’re a human disaster.    7.    Take the baking sheet and rap it firmly on your work surface just once, maybe twice. This is to get rid of any air bubbles that may have formed*.    8.    OPTIONAL: You can now take your crumblies or glitter/powder food coloring or any decorations and sprinkle them onto the macarons now.    9.    LEAVE THE MACARONS for at least 15 minutes, and up to 1 hour until to set/dry on a level surface. You want a “skin” to set over the domes and you know they’re set when you very gently touch one with your fingertip and it doesn’t stick or pull any off. SO IMPORTANT!!!!!    10.    Preheat your oven 325˚ F. Make sure the rack is in the middle of the oven. Bake for 10 minutes. If this is your first time baking these, start watching to make sure the macarons don’t start to brown or get overbaked at about the 8 minute mark. I actually had to bake mine closer to 12 minutes because my oven is terrible.    
FOR THE LEMON BUTTERCREAM:
1 stick unsalted butter, softened 1 2/3 cup confectioner’s sugar 1 teaspoon lemon extract 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
Beat the butter until fluffy and pale. Slowly add the sugar and continue beating until smooth, then stir in the lemon extract and zest.
Once the macarons are cool, spread some butter cream on one macaron shell, then sandwich with the other :D
TIPS: All ingredients need to be at room temp Use the right nozzle for piping If your parchment paper rolls, you can put dots of the mixture on the corners to hold it down.  Be patient with the drying. The batch I had sitting out longer formed nicer pieds (feet). Everyone’s oven is different. I baked my first two batches on small baking sheets in a toaster oven for 12 minutes. I baked the other two batches in my normal stove for 5 MINUTES and they ended up slightly browned and not as pretty :C I hate my oven. Don’t be discouraged! Macarons are tricky, but so worth the trial and error!
high resolution »

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

Heeeeere’s the recipe I used, adapted from Annie Rigg’s Macaron book, which is awesome and you can get it at Anthropology and probably amazon.

TARDIS MACARONS WITH LEMON BUTTERCREAM

Ingredients (weigh everything, have it all sitting there, ready and within reach)
200 g/ 1 1/2 cups icing/confectioners’ sugar
100 g/ 2/3 cup ground
almonds (I used Red Mill almond meal/flour)
120-125 g/ 1/2 cup egg
whites (about 3 large eggs)
a pinch of salt
40 g/ 3 tablespons
caster/superfine sugar*
For the Tardis flavor, I smashed up about 4 tablespoons of the loose leaf tea as well as I could. I should have smashed it up finer though. If you have a food processor, use that. I don’t, so I used a small bowl and a heavy metal ice cream scoop :T

Equipment
Food processor (I don’t have one, so I did small batches in my blender and still nearly burned out the motor because it’s a terrible blender)
Hand mixer with whisk attachment (I have neither of these things. I have my room mates old school mixer with old school beaters, so I used that, WHATEVER)
Large metal spoon, spatulas
Piping bag and 1-cm/
half-inch nozzle/tip
2 solid baking sheets lined with non-stick baking parchment paper
A damp towel (this is for you - it can get messy/sticky.)

Let’s make these things already

   1.    In your food processor (blender), blend the almond meal with the confectioners’ sugar and tea till thoroughly combined (about 30 seconds) and set aside.
   2.    In a clean, dry mixing bowl whisk the egg whites and salt with the hand mixer. Whisk till the foam holds a stiff peak.
   3.    Turn the speed down to medium and start adding the caster sugar one teaspoon at a time. Mix well between each addition to properly incorporate sugar. Mixture should become thick, white and glossy.
   4.    Now’s when you will add the food coloring. Gel/Paste coloring is best, use a toothpick or one of those larger satay sticks and dip into the gel and stir into the egg white mixture and mix evenly, being sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula. You’ll need quite a bit to get anywhere near TARDIS blue. I feel like I used a lot and I still got just a bright blue. I probably need better food coloring though.
   5.    Fold the almond/sugar mixture into the egg white mixture with the large metal spoon. Fold till the mixture is smooth (about a minute or less). The end result should drop from the spoon in a “smooth molten mass.”
   6.    Pour into piping bag and pipe onto parchment paper. Laugh/Cry when you get macaron mix all over the outside of the bag and all over your hands because you’re a human disaster.
   7.    Take the baking sheet and rap it firmly on your work surface just once, maybe twice. This is to get rid of any air bubbles that may have formed*.
   8.    OPTIONAL: You can now take your crumblies or glitter/powder food coloring or any decorations and sprinkle them onto the macarons now.
   9.    LEAVE THE MACARONS for at least 15 minutes, and up to 1 hour until to set/dry on a level surface. You want a “skin” to set over the domes and you know they’re set when you very gently touch one with your fingertip and it doesn’t stick or pull any off. SO IMPORTANT!!!!!
   10.    Preheat your oven 325˚ F. Make sure the rack is in the middle of the oven. Bake for 10 minutes. If this is your first time baking these, start watching to make sure the macarons don’t start to brown or get overbaked at about the 8 minute mark. I actually had to bake mine closer to 12 minutes because my oven is terrible.
   

FOR THE LEMON BUTTERCREAM:

1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 2/3 cup confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon lemon extract
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

Beat the butter until fluffy and pale. Slowly add the sugar and continue beating until smooth, then stir in the lemon extract and zest.

Once the macarons are cool, spread some butter cream on one macaron shell, then sandwich with the other :D

TIPS:
All ingredients need to be at room temp
Use the right nozzle for piping
If your parchment paper rolls, you can put dots of the mixture on the corners to hold it down.
Be patient with the drying. The batch I had sitting out longer formed nicer pieds (feet).
Everyone’s oven is different. I baked my first two batches on small baking sheets in a toaster oven for 12 minutes. I baked the other two batches in my normal stove for 5 MINUTES and they ended up slightly browned and not as pretty :C I hate my oven.
Don’t be discouraged! Macarons are tricky, but so worth the trial and error!

» time 2 years ago   » notes 970

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → Cover art

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → Cover art

» time 2 years ago   » notes 227

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → Introduction
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → Introduction

» time 2 years ago   » notes 1


Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → A for Æbleskiver
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → A for Æbleskiver

» time 2 years ago   » notes 224
#Food #Food Art #Cara McGee #A #Aebleskiver 


Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → B for Bacon
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → B for Bacon

» time 2 years ago   » notes 6
#Food #Food Art #Cara McGee #B #Bacon 


Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → C for Caramel Cupcakes
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → C for Caramel Cupcakes

» time 2 years ago   » notes 19
#Food #Food Art #Cara McGee #C #Caramel #Cupcakes 


Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → D for Donuts
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → D for Donuts



Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → E for Eggs ‘Benedict’
high resolution »

Clever Eats and Tasty Treats: A Nerdy Alphabet of Food by Cara McGee → E for Eggs ‘Benedict’